Food Fun Family

Prom and Graduation Season: Communication is Key

Lolli — Wed, 03 May 2017 13:59:37 +0000

This is a sponsored blog post and I was compensated by Anheuser-Busch to be part of the Family Talk About Drinking Program. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. Our oldest daughter celebrated her first anniversary the week before. We have one daughter graduating from high school next month and a son who is learning to drive and is active on his high school cross country and lacrosse teams. Both of my high school aged kids are attending prom this year. You could say that we are well-seasoned parents by this point!

Unfortunately, “well-seasoned” doesn’t mean that I know everything, nor does it mean that parenting is any easier than it was for me 20 years ago.

When the kids were little, I thought that the physical aspect of managing a family of seven was tough, but I never imagined how tricky it would get when they all became teenagers. Now that the kids are older, parenting is much more of an emotional and mental challenge, and the physical aspect of my role as a mom has shifted from hefting heavy toddlers around on my hip and playing with blocks on the ground to spending hours in the car dropping off and picking up for their various activities.

The Tale of Two Proms

Last month, my 16-year-old son was unexpectedly asked to prom (not at his school) by a friend that he’s known for several years. He was instantly excited about the prospects of attending prom – he’s a very social kid and loves to dance.

His older sister, who will be graduating this year, hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to attend her prom…until she was called down to the office about a week ago. She was chosen to attend a special Say Yes to the Prom event, and the next day she came home with a fancy prom dress, shoes, accessories, shawls, and lots of goodies to make her hair look fabulous for the prom.

A few days later, she asked a friend from school to be her date to her high school prom. He said yes, and so plans are in the works for the two of them to go.

Setting Expectations Early

We’ve been very clear about our family expectations and values when it comes to drinking and other similar topics since the kids were little, so bringing up the issue of prom and alcohol was not a new or surprising topic for us to discuss with the kids. Our kids know that we have a firm no drinking policy; there’s no gray area.

We’ve always armed our kids with information and tools that they can use when they find themselves in situations with their peers. When they know what their answer will be when they’re offered alcohol at a party, it’s a lot easier to answer with a quick and firm “no thanks.”

Keeping The Lines of Communication Open

It’s not enough to set the ground rules once and never mention them again. Gentle reminders and thoughtful discussions before they head off to a get together with friends or to a bigger event like the prom are important for keeping them prepared. We’ve found that bringing up a variety of scenarios that they might not have thought about before helps strike up a productive conversation.

As my kids have gotten older, I’ve found that the best conversations with my kids happen naturally, so it’s important for me to “set the stage” for those conversations to happen. Those long afternoons in the car, text messaging, lounging around on a Sunday afternoon, cooking dinner – they’re all great times to start talking together.

3 Communication Strategies for Prom and Grad Season

Family Talk About Drinking, in partnership with parent coach MJ Corcoran, has come up with three communication strategies for prom and graduation season. This is an important topic all year long, but can be especially important around prom and graduation season. It’s this time of year when teens often find themselves in an increased number of situations where underage drinking may be a concern.

Face-to-face communication

I loved the tips in this section – not only should parents find opportunities to talk with their kids face to face, but we should match our teen’s stance. Sit if they’re sitting, stand if they’re standing. “Recognition that they’re listening is important, but eye contact can actually be intimidating to teens and make them feel frustrated.”

The power of place

Some of the best places to have conversations are seemingly unconventional – long car rides and hikes are just two examples. Starting conversations on a lighter note (versus a serious “we need to have a talk” sit-down discussion) can help foster an open, productive conversation.

Communication variety

Although face-to-face conversations are important, it can also be productive to communicate with your teens using their preferred medium – texting, social media, or messaging apps on their phone. Any connection, especially when it feels and happens naturally, is a step in the right direction.

Asking the right questions is also key. Questions like these really get them thinking: “What will you do if your prom date shows up with a bottle of alcohol?” or “What do you think you’d do if you noticed a friend had been drinking at a party and was getting ready to drive himself home?”

What methods have you found that have worked well for communicating with your teenagers? Please add your tips in the comment section below!

About Family Talk About Drinking

Family Talk About Drinking provides support, tools and insights for parents aiming to develop stronger relationships with their children and prevent underage drinking. For more tools and ideas for talking to your kids about drinking at any age, visit the Family Talk About Drinking Website.

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Tradition. Celebration. Memories. High School Class Rings by Jostens

Lolli — Tue, 09 Dec 2014 17:02:37 +0000

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Jostens for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

It’s still crazy for me to think that I’ve got a child in college (college?!) and another following closely behind in high school (not to mention the next 3 that will be moving up the ranks soon enough). It feels like I just went through the whole senior year with my oldest, and yet I know that my second daughter will be filling out college applications and sending graduation announcements before I know it.

Watching my kids experience high school has been a very nostalgic experience for me. It doesn’t feel like that long ago that I was in their shoes. I remember school dances, chats around the lockers, experiencing freedom for the first time as my friends and I all got our driver’s licenses. And I remember wanting a class ring SO badly. Just this week, I was perusing Jostens class rings. The variety of class ring styles on Jostens.com, and the ability to customize designs to each student’s taste, blew me away and actually got me thinking about an excuse to order a class ring for myself. Jostens has a huge selection of the most stylish, unique and up-to-date designs in high school rings. I love how easily customizable they are – I played around with Stackable (Style 686) from Jostens, which has 3 separate, stackable bands. If I were making this for my high school-aged daughter, I would design one band with a deep blue stone and the other with a golden stone to represent their school colors, blue and gold. And since she is so involved in her barbershop quartet through the school music department, I would definitely add an engraving of her quartet’s name, Afterglow, to the solid band.

Graduating high school is a great accomplishment, and it’s worth commemorating their accomplishments, experiences, and memories with something lasting like a class ring. Did you get a class ring when you graduated high school? Which of the class rings by Jostens do you like most? Are you a traditionalist or do you like the fresh, new designs best?

Connect with Jostens:

About Jostens: Since Otto Josten created the first class ring in 1906, we’ve been empowering people to connect to important traditions, people, places and experiences throughout their lives. Our legacy was built upon the handmade quality and personal service that helps people etch their unique memories and accomplishments into timeless, custom pieces.

Twitter: @jostens
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Facebook: Jostens Inc.

8th Grade Graduation – #PSF Give Me Your Best Shot

Lolli — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 21:30:54 +0000

Last night my 2nd daughter, Necco, graduated from 8th grade and took her next step towards high school. We went shopping together on Tuesday (way to be last minute, Lolli!) and found the perfect dress and sandals for her. My old tomboy, in a floral dress! How beautiful is my girl?!

I thought it was quite a coincidence when we met up with her two best friends before the ceremony and found that her dress coordinated perfectly with both of theirs. It was a surprise to all of them.

At the beginning of the graduation exercises, Necco and a few of her friends sang the National Anthem in front of a very full house. I was so proud of her while she sang out…and then a few minutes later when she was recognized for the Presidential Gold Award (3.5-4.0 GPA across all 3 years of middle school).

At the end of the evening, in keeping with her school’s 8th grade graduation tradition, she had to chose one person to whom she would present a white carnation. She didn’t have to think twice about who she wanted to find…

I was tickled to find out that Necco’s special teacher is a blog follower (waving hello!).

Cultivate your garden… Do not depend upon teachers to educate you … follow your own bent, pursue your curiosity bravely, express yourself, make your own harmony… In the end, education, like happiness, is individual, and must come to us from life and from ourselves. There is no way; each pilgrim must make his own path. “Happiness,” said Chamfort, “is not easily won; it is hard to find it in ourselves, and impossible to find it elsewhere.”

–Will Durant

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

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