How to Discuss Difficult Issues With Your Children

I love being a mom, but it’s not always an easy job. I find it especially challenging when I need to discuss difficult issues with my kids, particularly when they are young and have a hard time comprehending tough topics.
Those “tough topics” can range from understanding why they are having problems with bedwetting (and what to do about it) to understanding why a family member or friend is no longer with us…..and everywhere in between.

The biggest challenge in discussing touchy issues with kids is not only in helping them understand, but also in protecting their delicate emotions and helping to ease their worries.

As a mother of 5 kids, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to have tough talks with my kids, and while every situation is different, here are some of the tricks that have helped us make the most of our conversations and teaching moments.

Tips for talking to your kids about tough topics

1. Keep it age-appropriate – sometimes it’s better to leave out details that would only confuse or frustrate them anyway. Keep it simple, and if they still have questions, you can add little by little.
2. Be respectful – while it’s good to explain issues on their level, I’ve found that it’s also important to avoid talking down to them. They are more likely to tune you out if they can tell you aren’t taking them seriously or showing respect.
3. Break it up – you don’t have to tackle difficult issues in a single power session. Feed them the information a bite at a time.
4. Teach by story – instead of a lecture, tell your child a story about someone who has gone through a similar situation, and how they managed. And it’s totally ok to use your imagination and tell a fictional story as an example if it gets your point across. Many helpful picture books are available at the library as well.
5. Model behavior….and talk through it – Whether it’s walking through a bedtime routine or talking through emotions, let your kids see how you react and explain why you do they things you do.
6. Ease concerns – make sure that your children know that difficult lessons are usually not learned overnight. And remember that making sure that your children feel loved and secure is the most important factor. Recently, as we’ve been dealing with bedwetting issues with AJ, he came to me crying because he felt like he was too old to be wearing over night pants to bed. I simply reassured him that there was nothing wrong with bedwetting….and that he was not the only one with the problem!

How do you have difficult discussions with your children? Have you used any special techniques that have worked really well, or have you learned something NOT to do?

Please note: I am participating in the GoodNites® Blogger Ambassador program and I am compensated for my time. The thoughts and experiences expressed here are my own.

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