When I was newly engaged and was waiting for my engagement ring to be ready (it was behind schedule and I was heading home in a few short days to take engagement pictures), CandyMan broke the news to me that the ring would not be ready for our pictures and our trip. I was steaming. So steaming mad, in fact, that I shouted, “I’m pissed!”
That long ago profession of anger is just about as bad as it gets coming out of my mouth. CandyMan’s eyes widened and he started chuckling. He quickly confessed that he did, in fact, have my ring hidden in his jacket…along with a tape recorder to record the “official” proposal (because the first one hadn’t gone all that well). I didn’t enjoy the joke. And I didn’t enjoy having to listen to myself saying “I’m pissed!” over and over on tape. Or knowing that he was letting his roommates (and, later, my parents) hear the proposal.
So all I could do the other day was chuckle when I heard my sons having this conversation over legos and playmobil:
Twizzler: “I don’t know why there are cuss words. I mean, it’s so pathetic!”
I promptly tweeted his declaration, and then heard this…
AJ: “Is the f-word fart?”
A very amusing conversation ensued between my boys and a friend who was over, and I was in the perfect place to hear (and tweet) every word.
Twizzler: “Well, fart isn’t really the f-word. The other one is way worse!”
AJ: “Well, I think the f-word is fart.” Fart also happens to be his favorite word to spell when we play bananagrams. He thinks is it endlessly funny.
Twizzler: “Then the P-word is Pee and the T-word is Toot.”
AJ: “And the S-word is shut up!”
Twizzler: “And stupid!”
They continued making up substitute cuss words. Dumb, Idiot, Burp, Poop. And I couldn’t help but appreciate the innocence of little boys.
I’m going to let them keep thinking that the F-word is Fart. Who knows….Maybe I’ll start using it, too. As @ItsyBitsyKC put it yesterday, “Still can’t stop chuckling about the f word. I think I’ll use fart as my f word now. i.e. What the fart! I am farting mad!”
At least it’s good for a chuckle.
I know this is a touchy topic for many people. I personally hate to swear, and can’t stand hearing it from my family. But that’s just me. How do you feel about swearing…. and about your kids using colorful language?
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i never comment, but i just had to share this one… when my mom was in elementary school someone was being mean to her on the playground. so she told her to “go milk a duck” :o) my mom got sent to the principal’s office, there was a phone call home, and she got in huge trouble. so when we were growing up, when we were really mad at each other, we’d say “go milk a duck” and it would always end with everyone laughing, including my mom :o)
we are raising a housefull of teens and the colorful language is a challenge yet as old as they get I do not like to hear it and promptly tell them about it
I never swore until I married a Sailor, and now he gets so upset when I swear. We have massive potty mouths when we are home (myself and the kids – I have a 26 year old in the Army, a 22 year old roughneck works on an oil rig, and a 19 year old that want to be a Sailor). And my husband that taught us all to swear gets so upset.
We really do try hard not to, and it really only slips out at home. The whole thing is really strange.
So I think I’m going to implement a new house rule – The F word is Fart! Thank you! I think that might work. Fudge never did.
I love that F-word. Too bad the other one is way too real and overly prevalent. I remember once calling my sister a stupid head when we were kids and getting in pretty big trouble because of it.
Too funny! I don’t swear often only when I’m really ticked. Sometimes nothing but the real f-word will do.
My daughter (who is in 9th grade) has started saying “SHUT the front door!” to be silly. It still shocks me a little when I hear her start that phrase. Eek!
Yes, once they pass kindergarten (and sometimes even in kindergarten) you can’t stop them from being exposed to it!
My 17-year-old son hears a lot of swearing from his on-line gaming friends. He knows I don’t want him swearing, so he has come up with his own non-swear words. His alternative, parent-approved F word is fudgesickle. Makes me chuckle every time I hear it.
I think it’s sad how the f-word gets treated like just any old word now. We’ve been know to say a few cuss words, but I really started paying attention to what I was saying when my oldest was a year old and learning how to talk and I heard him mutter, “Demmit!” under his breath and realized that he was copying me. Of course, I was saying the real word! I discourage the words “sucks”, “hate”, “shutup”, “stupid”, “idiot”, etc.
We’ve come up with some alternative words, too. We’ll say “Holy…” anything. The pot boiling over on the stove? Holy overflowing pot!
I use Crud a lot, too.
My little guys still thing the s-word is stupid.
Unfortunately, my older two have heard plenty of swear words since they’re out in the world a little bit more.
I’ve found that if you nicely call attention to someone’s language use, and ask if they can watch it around the kids, they’re usually sorry and clean it up. Even the teenagers! I think with some people it has become a real habit, and they don’t even notice it.
Me too. Me too. And as a child myself who swore out loud in church when I was 2 because I’d heard “someone” say something a few times….I know how careful parents need to be with whatever they say, swearing or not!
I think this is a touchy subject…the society we live in today basically pretends that colorful and profane language coming from the mouths of children is okay. But in our house, it isn’t. Our son is two right now and he is learning new words daily and repeats everything. I have to be VERY careful about the things that I say because he grasps them right off hand. My husband {God love him} is a former Navy boy and a military man. While I don’t enjoy his colorful language, he’s most careful not to slip around our son and let him hear those kinds of words come out of his mouth. Great post. I hope your boys stay that innocent for a long, long time. :)
That is classic! I think it’s hilarious when people use silly words in place of swearing. It typically leads to laughing and a relaxing of tension rather than the other way around. :)
Hilarious post! As a kid my parents coached my brothers baseball team – teenage boys who thought it was ‘cool’ to swear and drop the ‘F-bomb’ while on the diamond. So to stop them, my mom told them all that the only 4-letter F word they could use was her name – Fran. So, each game you would randomly hear them yelling “Oh Fran!” and “Fran!” As a 12 year old, it was pretty funny – and of course, way better than the real 4-letter F word.