I don’t know why, but I felt like writing this morning, and I grabbed a pen and notebook and wrote this down.
As a mother of five kids, I am a rarity nowadays, and I admit I can be somewhat of a spectacle. It used to be that whenever I left the house with all 5 kids in tow, I heard the same thing: “Boy, you’ve got YOUR hands full!” How many of you mothers have heard the same thing? Honestly, that comment is neither helpful or uplifting. Luckily, now that four of my five kids are in school full time, I don’t hear that quite as much.
There are a few things that mothers are asked constantly. It starts during pregnancy–“When are you due?” (how often have you heard THAT?) and “Is it a boy or a girl?” (Yep, it’s ONE of those!). It gets old to answer the same 2 or 3 questions time and again, but we put up with them. I understand that people are trying to be nice, and it’s certainly better than hearing, “You know how that happens, don’t you?”
“When are you due?” and “Is it a boy or a girl?” are definitely NOT questions that you want to hear AFTER the baby comes. My boys, with their long eyelashes, were occasionally mistaken for girls. No big deal. I just laughed when my second daughter, who is now my tom-boy, was called a boy because I had dressed her in a BLUE dress. No offense taken. But the wide eyes and the “When are you due?”s are no fun once your baby is here. I have been asked that more times than I can count. My stomach is just permanently stretched out. I understand. I once stopped in to visit a friend whose baby was due in a week or two, and commented to her, “Wow! You don’t look like you’re about to have a baby!” It was meant to be a compliment, but my face went red as she explained that her baby had come early, and he was upstairs sleeping. Oops.
There are at least two things that I don’t get tired of hearing frequently. Every once in a while, someone pays me a compliment that boosts me up for days afterwards. Once, after a long and tiring cross-country airplane ride with three young children, a single young man ran to catch up with me. I was still slightly embarrassed and sensitive about the noise the kids had made during the 7-hour flight. I know how most people feel about kids on planes. I was shocked when the man said, “I was so impressed with yor kids during the flight. You should write a parenting book.” Wow. I was floored. Recently, we were eating dinner at Red Robin when an older gentleman passed our table and complimented us on our well-behaved children. My husband’s response was, “Thanks. They’re not always like this.”
During my 12 years as a mom, I’ve only had a handful of compliments like that, but boy do they go a long way. I wish I heard more compliments and fewer “You’ve got your hands full”s and the inevitable “Are you having any MORE?”
One last thought–the 2nd thing that I never tire of hearing, and something that has just started recently since #5 is the only one at home with me during the day….I love being asked, “Is he your first/only child?” and watching for their reaction when I answer, “No, he’s my fifth.”
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