I hear that phrase almost daily from my 5 year old.
“Am I bugging you?”
Granted, he’s just being silly when he says it, but the answer is almost always yes. But I can’t help but smile and give him a hug when he asks me that question.
AJ brought this paper home from school on Friday. “If I were a bug, I would make a web. It would be a transformer web.”
The other day, I told you about my bug dreams. I just remembered a funny bug story from my childhood (don’t know why I didn’t think of it before!). After reading through a bunch of the hilarious comments on 5 Minutes for Mom’s Bug Story contest for $500, I knew I had to share.
I started taking ballet when I was 3. By the time I was 8 and 9, I was taking classes almost every day of the week. I was quite accustomed to arriving at the studio, taking off my sneakers and slipping on my ballet shoes, and setting my shoes and my bag on the bench before heading in to meet my teacher.
When class was over one particular day, I went back to the bench, slipped off my ballet shoes, and stepped into my sneakers. I noticed some straw sticking out between the velcro straps on one of my shoes and picked as much of it out as I could before running out to my mom’s car.
When I got home, dinner was ready, so I sat down at the kitchen table in my ballet clothes. I started taking off my shoes….and discovered that the “straw” I had been picking out had actually been grasshopper legs. While I was dancing, a grasshopper jumped into my shoe. I dressed so quickly that the poor thing didn’t have time to jump out before I squished him and pulled his legs off one by one.
Because I was wearing ballet tights, the grasshopper guts were stuck to me. I remember shaking my leg, trying to get the dead grasshopper as far away from me as I could, screaming for my mom to get it off of me FAST!
Here are a few of my favorite stories from fellow 5M4M commenters:
Therese got me laughing for sure:
“My mom is deathly afraid of bugs. She was away on a business trip and discovered a spider in her room. She went to find a co worker of hers to kill it for her. She brought him back to her room and told him to kill it. The only problem was he was blind. So she proceeded to help him kill the bug by lifting his leg up for him and stomping on the bug. It worked! For Christmas that year my aunt gave her a mannequin leg inside a shoe and that was her ‘BUG STOMPER.’”
What a way to wake up! Karina said:
“When I was 7 I had a tiny room in our unfinished basement and one morning I was wakened by my mother hitting me in the face with a book. I was confused and hurt, as she had never done anything like that to me before, and asked why she would do such a thing and all she offered was, “It’s time to get ready for school.” I went several years thinking she had had a mental-moment with that “wake up” she gave me and finally when I was about 18 I mentioned it to her. “Oh that,” she said nonchalantly, “I didn’t want to tell you that I was hitting a huge cockroach that had just climbed out of your mouth.” Aaaaaahhh! Even though it happened years earlier I had to go wash my mouth out with Listerine and brush my teeth!”
Janae said (shudder!):
“When I was 18, I got a new job…at a bug show. The show consisted of walking around letting people look at giant millipedes, giving “fun” facts about our tarantula, and the grand finale of the show was having a lucky audience member come up and EAT a bug.
One day, we had no takers. So my boss, called for the resident bug eater to come out and show everyone that eating a bug was nutritious and fun! Guess who the “resident bug eater” was? ME! I had the “privilege” of crunching down on a cricket, while remembering to smile AND chew with my mouth open so the huge crowd could hear the loud cruch.”
Emiliy told about lethal lady bugs:
“When I was 4, I was fascinated with bugs. Let me rephrase. I was fascinated with *LADY*bugs. The other creepy crawlies I could not care for and for the most part they scared me out of my wits. But not ladybugs. I thought they were magical and beautiful and every time I found one, I’d grab it between my hands and run in the house to introduce my new friend to my mom.
One day, I decided to share my love of ladybugs with Pogo, my father’s beloved dog that was around many years before my brother or I made an appearance in this world. Pogo was quite interested in my ladybug friend, and showed his affection by sniffing my bug right up his nose.
The next day, Pogo died.
For 14 years, I believed I killed Pogo with a lady bug. It wasn’t until Christmas my first year at college that I discovered Pogo’s true cause of death. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but we were all apologizing for things we did as a kid, and I apologized to my parents for killing Pogo with a ladybug. My father laughed and informed me Pogo had cancer and they put him down.
Even though the lady bugs have been cleared, I am still afraid of them to this day. I feel like they’re unlucky. Even if they aren’t responsible for killing my dog.”
Poor guy. Betsy told another lady bug story:
“A couple of years ago, we had a bit of a ladybug infestation in our living room window. There were hundreds of them crawling all over the window and the sill. One night, my husband and I were laying in bed, ready to fall asleep. He has sleep apnea and uses a mask at night. So, he puts his mask on, and starts to fall asleep. Then he takes it off and says he can smell the ladybugs. I tell him I can’t smell anything. He puts the mask back on, and it ramps up a little more, and he falls closer to sleep. Again, he takes it off and says, “Ugh, I can’t get that smell out of my head.” I tell him, ‘put your mask back on and take some deep breaths, once you fall asleep, it won’t bother you.’ So, he puts the mask on and falls asleep. About 3 minutes later, he starts choking and gagging and ripping at the mask like a crazed man. Apparently, many of those ladybugs had gotten into the mask, and as he did “deep breathing” to relax, he sucked them right up into his nose and mouth!!! I think he vomited ten times before he got over it. His horrible fear of bugs at night comes from earlier in our marriage, when I would sneak our infant daughter’s Gloworm into bed with us, wait until he fell asleep, and then say his name in a really startled tone. Just as he opened his eyes in panic, I would squeeze its belly and light it up, lol. He would yell like a little girl and jump out of bed so fast. I got him every time!”
If you haven’t told YOUR bug story yet, hurry over to 5 Minutes for Mom for a chance to win one of two $500 Walmart giftcards. The contest ends tomorrow, Tuesday 5/3 and the winners will be announced on Wednesday 5/4. Good luck!
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