This post was part of March Resilience Month in our house while I was acting as an ambassador for Pepperidge Farms’ Fishful Thinking program. These tips originally appeared in an article by Robert Barnett (from Parenting magazine—January 2007), but all commentary (and opinions) are my own. The tips were found, along with other articles and activities on resilience, on Fishfulthinking.com.
Eight Steps to be a Happier Mom, a la Fishful Thinking
Ask a woman if she’s happier now that she has children and she’ll most likely say yes. But the day to day routine of a mom often doesn’t fit the ideal picture of “happiness.” In fact, motherhood itself can often be the root of a bad mood. Am I right? The good news is that you can learn to focus on the positive and make it a habit. You can be a happy mom!
- Admit when you’re stressed
It is normal to be stressed as a mom. I get stressed daily. House not clean enough? Oh yeah. Kids fighting? Check. Bills piling up? Bring on the stress! The funny thing about stress is that once you stop expecting motherhood to feel warm and fuzzy all the time, life as a mom gets easier. It’s normal. We’ve all been there. - Get enough sleep
Here’s an area where I need a lot of work. I have to wake up every morning by 6:20 to wake up KitKat to get ready for middle school. So why is it that I frequently stay up until midnight? I know better. I know how I’m going to feel without a good night’s sleep. But I also crave that productive alone time at night. Let’s just say that this is an area that I know I could improve in. (Check out my tips for getting a good night sleep HERE) - (Re)consider your priorities
As moms, we could fill every day with rather meaningless activities and never focus any of our time on things we enjoy. Don’t forget that doing things that you enjoy are sometimes just as important as loading the dishwasher. - Go with the flow
Time seems to slow down when you’re doing what you enjoy. People who experience this level of engagement (which psychologists call “flow”) are happier than people who rarely do. - Savor the moment
It’s ok to get on the ground with your preschooler and play for a while. As mundane as some of these “normal” motherhood moments may feel, they are precious. Sometimes after my “big kids” head off for school, I climb back into bed with AJ and read books together. Sometimes we lay down and snuggle. I love those moments. - Take the long view
If the drudgery is getting to you, think about how empty your life would be without children. Think about what these moments mean in the long run. What are you creating? - Reconnect with your spouse
I truly believe that a supportive group of friends is important for happiness as a mother. But what about Daddy? Friends can move away, interests and schedules can change, but Hubby is always going to be there (we hope, right?). Rely on each other. Talk with each other. I remember (vaguely) that time before we had kids when we would spend every evening playing games and talking late into the night. That became much harder once we had babies, but I haven’t forgotten how important that connection is. - Say thanks
Kids do their chores? Say thank you. Husband pitched in and made dinner? Say thanks. I know that I feel so much better when I recognize the things I’m grateful for and vocalize it.
What are some of your tips for being happy as a mom?
Check out my “TIPS FOR MOMS” category for more helpful parenting tips and tricks from a mom who’s been around the block a few times!
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What a great post! I should have these all hung up on my wall so I don’t forget to do them. ; )
Love, love, LOVE these tips! I could have written some of those feelings in my own post because I do feel that way many days. Stressed, not sleeping enough, and not savoring the simple moments. Thanks for the reminder…needed it!
Tamara
http://www.theunexperiencedmom.com
http://www.blogconferencenewbie.com
Good tips! I need to stop wishing for more than 24 hours in a day, though!
.-= Jess´s last blog ..5 Question Friday =-.
Thanks for sharing these great tips to keep us moms smiling and feeling our best. Its a hard job, and it’s nice to be reminded how important it is to cut ourselves a little slack, too!
My tip is to give yourself permission to not be perfect. Some days you just can’t do the dishes, grocery shopping, pick up and drop off kids, attend play dates, make three healthy meals and still look good doing it all. I’ve learned to limit what I do, and to feel good about doing that.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Is This the End or the Beginning? (SAHM Series) =-.
When I first read that article, the sleep tip really stuck out to me. Doesn’t it say something like an extra hour of sleep per night brings more happiness than making an extra $30,000 a year? Or maybe it was 60,000. It was some crazy amount like taht. I’ll have to look it up. I’d love if you’d link this post to Fishful Thinking Thursday…my Mcklinky is bare this week. :(
.-= Kelli @ writing the waves´s last blog ..Fishful Thinking Thursday – "The best day ever!" =-.
Great tips. I have nothing better to add to this wise list, but maybe there’s a way to help moms go with the flow.
There’s this cool new tool that helps teach kids to work out conflicts on their own.
It’s called the Pocket Referee.
Give it a look. http://www.thepocketreferee.com
Great tips, as always! :) I could totally use some more help with the sleeping thing too.
.-= Safire´s last blog ..I Married Superman =-.
It’s so true. Sometimes I wish I could enjoy my kids as babies again. It has gone by so fast!
I’m glad I’m not the only one! Thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend!
You are so right! I bet even men could benefit from these tips. ;)
Isn’t it funny how something so simple can make a big difference? Thanks for stopping by today!
Great tips. Savoring the moment is really true for me. My son will only be this age once, and I just need to remember it all and enjoy it.
.-= Julie {Angry Julie Monday}´s last blog ..iGo Anywhere =-.
This is a really excellent post and I hope everyone will take the time to read it. #6 really hit home for me. Life might seem crazy and the winter blues are hitting hard, but I can’t imagine my life without this family. Thank you for that reminder. And #2? Yeah, I need to work on that too!
.-= through jenny’s lens´s last blog ..let’s chat…again =-.
These are excellent advice and tips. Not just for moms, either but for every woman. *Smile* A terrific reminder to those of us with busy, chaotic lives. Great post Laura.
.-= Gilliauna´s last blog ..$20.00 Store Credit GIVEAWAY =-.
great great tips! i need to remember #8 more often