Dumb Mom, Smart Phone

It is an anecdotal fact that as soon as you parent a child, you loose half of your brain. Gray matter formally used to organize your life, figure out complex problems and generally function in normal society is overtaken by questions regarding diapers, fevers, spit-up, discipline, television allowances, homework, babysitters, organic food, competitive sports and most importantly…SLEEP. We’ve all heard of a “simpler time” back when we were kids, when parental worries were few and manners were enforced. Today, it’s a wonder any of us can deliver our kids to school on time, much less remember which of them has a project due, doctor’s appointment, soccer practice, half-birthday celebration in class, or “sharing day”.

All we can say is, out with the brain real estate, in with the smart phones.

(JuiceBoxJungle happened to write that introduction. I just happened to love it so much that I wanted to include it in my post! See my fun widget right over there—–>)

Apparently, I need a smart phone, because I am not smart enough to keep all of the information I need to keep track of  sorted in my head. Five kids are not only “a handful” but they are a brain-ful! With after school activities, birthdays, concerts, play dates, scouts, lost teeth, etc etc there are just too many things to keep a handle on.

Case(s) in point:

KitKat’s 11th birthday. Christmas Eve. I was baking food for the Christmas feast. I happened to whip up an apple cake and was pulling it out of the oven when she came in and asked, “Is that my birthday cake?” Thinking quickly, I replied, “Yes!” Phew! I was safe. She had no idea that I had completely forgotten about making her a birthday cake.

I have missed more tooth fairy visits than I care to recall. I’ve started having to leave myself notes by my bed to remember to sneak in at night after a child has lost a tooth. More than once, I have had an older (wiser) child approach me with a tooth and say, “Mom, this tooth has been under my pillow for 2 weeks. Can I just get the money now?”

I don’t know how many Girl Scouts meetings I have forgotten about. Apparently, “every 2nd and 4th Tuesday” is too much for my brain to remember. The girl scout leader must think I am the most scatter-brained mother there is.

This year, I bought a little planner for my purse, filled out the calendar for the next few months…and then promptly lost it. And guess what? There aren’t a whole lot of calendars available at Target in early February. For several days I had no idea what was on my schedule.

Last week, I excitedly accepted tickets to an upcoming concert. I wrote it down in my brand new calendar and was about to email my husband at work when I figured I’d better check to see if anything else was going on that day. A careful accounting of emails and notes scribbled by the phone revealed that the day of the concert was quite a busy day. Because of my lack of planning, I will now have KitKat gone all day for her friend’s birthday. Necco and I are supposed to sell Girl Scout cookies at a local grocery store from 2 to 4. At 5:00, we’ll head over to Twizzler’s Blue and Gold Cub Scout banquet (where I am the den leader). At 6:00, I will leave CandyMan at the banquet with kids #3, 4, and 5 while I drop Necco off at Girl Scout Thinking Day and then run over to my friend’s house to drive an hour to the concert. I haven’t broken the news to CandyMan yet.

Now, if I had a smart phone, not only would I be able to keep track of all of my appointments, calendar items, and special occasions, but my kids would be endlessly entertained. Twizzler would be able to play games on it and stop asking me to use my computer all the time. AJ could watch a video while we stood in a long line together in Walmart. I could leave my music player, my video camera, and my pocket camera at home and de-clutter my purse because ONE handy item would do it all.

I think they should start putting smart phones in new mothers’ diaper bags that they hand out in the hospital.

Disclosure:  Verizon and JuiceBoxJungle sponsored me to write this post, and they asked me to talk about the ways my smart phone (or lack of a smart phone) affects my life as a parent.

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About Lolli

Lolli has written 3741 post in this blog.

I became a mom in 1996, and in 2005 I had my fifth. Yes, 5 kids. In 2007, this blog was born (my 6th baby that will never grow up) and I've been sharing recipes, photography tricks, parenting tips, and everything in between. (Formerly Better in Bulk)

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